New name: Baby Sooner-or-Later

APPARENTLY we aren’t. FOR. THE. LOVE. Drama annoys me. Drama at this stage of the baby waiting game could push me over. I am not rational this pregnant. REPEAT, I am not rational. All my friends and loved ones are on high alert. If I say something dumb to you, PLEASE forgive me. If we mis-communicate it is most likely MY fault. I TAKE THE BLAME.

So the other day I was out scooping snow (don’t worry Gooner was helping me and TWO neighbors were out to witness the preggo scooping snow) and I saw the neighbor. Our kids saw each other first and since children are mostly forgiving and free from weirdo sterotypes they were eager to yell hello and cheer and, you know, do kid stuff. I called out a friendly hello!

The Neighbor stuck up her chin and looked the other way. She couldn’t even tell me hello back. REALLY? Whatev…so I moved on. I was hoping we could be civil, but if we can’t then we can’t.

So YESTERDAY I get a text asking if I have her son’s train. I didn’t – we haven’t played together since the incident. And she then ACCUSED me of finding it and putting it on our sidewalk so that I wouldn’t have to see her. I told her that was mean and I wouldn’t do that. And she responded with “LOL, either way. Are you getting ready for baby?”

And I felt like crying. I’m not the one with the problem here! I hate accusations and I hate people assuming the worst. And I don’t want to hate my neighbor, but she’s making it more and more difficult to get along with her! I honestly don’t want to argue with her, especially over text message. Ugh, honestly, I just can’t handle it. Not right now, probably not ever.

She also told me they are moving out of the country. Enter a calming, relaxing, smile.

1. Q. doesn’t like my title. He thinks I’m being coy. I think I have a bad attitude because my stummy is HUGE!

2. One of the fitness workers told me that she BETTER not see me again and that I BETTER have this baby. Um ok, I’ll get RIGHT ON THAT BECAUSE I WANT TO BE PREGNANT FOR FOREVER.

3. Gooner told the childcare workers at the gym that, “She had to go.” They asked her why? And she responded, “I have to go shopping! For a suity! I need to go swimming!”

4. We shampooed our carpets and WOW. Our house smells fabulous and our carpets look divine. If I wanted to put our baby (that has yet to arrive) on the floor I CAN. I would risk her life since Gooner LOVES HER A LOT and she isn’t even OUT yet! My stomach has NEVER been lotioned SO MUCH since “baby sister needs lotion”. All. The. Time.

5. The ONLY thing on my brain is le bebe. Really. I’m trying to think of other randoms not baby or pregnancy related and I’m coming up blank. Sorry.

6. I AM at a good place, for reals. Sooner will come when she is ready. And she will be here within two weeks for sure. Mitigating circumstances leave us with little choice BUT to have a baby by Super Bowl Sunday.

7. And I took a belly shot. I’m wearing a HORIZONTAL striped pregnancy shirt. I looked like a tank so I am NOT posting it.

8.I saw a woman at the gym and she said, “Oh congratulations. Your belly is so beautiful!” This. THIS is what you SHOULD say to a pregnant woman. NOT, you are about to pop or something equally ridiculous.

Q and I chose 2012 as the year to “lower our expectations.” We realized that as individuals AND as a couple that we have super high expectations. When we place expectations on others, and things don’t go according to plan, life in turn becomes stressful.

I was sobbing in bed a couple days ago telling Q how overwhelmed I felt. “with what?” Well, with everything. I’ve had a short temper with Gooner, I feel so yucky that I can’t be there for my friends, the house isn’t perfect when he gets home from work, I had to skip a workout day because of contractions, I haven’t cleaned the fish tank etc…

Q THEN reminded me that honestly these are ALL expectations I have placed on myself. He reminded me that he doesn’t expect a perfect house and that he can pick up toys in 1/4 of the time as me because he doesn’t have a baby in his belly, that my friends love me for me and just want to be with me one last time before the baby comes, and that they won’t notice the house, that it’s ok to skip a workout when you’ve been having contractions for half the day and you physically can’t do it, and that he’d rather have a safe healthy baby than a live fish, and the fish won’t die from a little algea anyway.

Moral to the story…not a single person puts expectations on me. It was me. WHICH is largely due to hormones. Truth friends? I’m slowing down, like waaaaaaaaaay down.  Don’t worry, I will still work out…duh! But that is more for my sanity than the size of my butt.

Speaking of expectations, I have a question for YOU. Do you like guest posts? I was thinking that I might ask some folks to guest post while our small family becomes acquainted with Sooner and I, you know, HEAL. Oh, and learn life with TWO children. Would you be interested in the idea? Let me know; otherwise this blog MIGHT get sparse and silent for awhile…

Bon weekend!

*ALSO if you use blogger I most likely can’t comment. Word verification is ALWAYS wrong, and my credentials can’t be verified. So I am reading your blogs but um, TRYING to comment and it not working. Sorry!*

Ok, I HAVE to throw this out there…I’ve been a TOTAL judger of zumba. It looks like a GREAT workout if you know what you are doing. I, on the other hand, don’t. I have no desire to learn. My butt and boobs are huge and I have no hootzpah to shake, shake, shake. But that is just an excuse. Even if I WERE a size NORMAL I  would rather go running and lift weights.  BUT after witnessing an AQUA ZUMBA class I thought, let’s do it. So Tuesday night I RUSHED my family to the gym. Pregnant lady rushing is awesome because while I RUSH Q already has Gooner in the car and he’s sitting in the drivers seat WAITING for me to FLING myself in and TRY not to shut the door on some unsuspecting body part. Gooner’s new chant…”c’mon Mom!”

So in we go while we all munch on some cashews since we have to miss our normal dinner time for Aqua Zumba. Gooner puts up with the cashews so she can have the salt. I’m ok with that since it is MUCH better than the Almighty Cheet-Oh.

Our awesome family gym-spa allows one area for mothers to do Aqua Zumba WITH their children. Can I hear an AMEN!? I grabbed Gooner a floaty and then lugged myself through the two feet deep water and then sat to take a break. It is NO JOKE walking through water, WITHOUT ABS, WITH A KID HANGING ON YOU, 38.5 weeks pregnant while EVERYONE stares at your belly. And then you swim to the Zumba area and we started Zumba-ing…in the water.

Have. Mercy. No joke. We did awesome moves under water and then jumped around screaming Zumba – Gooner’s favorite part. The guy dancing and sweating on the pool tile was AWESOME and I haven’t felt SO RELAXED in a LONG TIME. I went and “danced” by another preggo because who wants to look awkward alone? Oh wait, I actually didn’t care that I looked like an Orca splashing around, I was having too much fun, I just wanted to flaunt my 38 week belly next to her um, 20 week cutie pouch? Yah, that was it.

THEN, I woke up yesterday. My butt hurt. My obliques hurt – apparently still have some weak ones going on. My arms hurt. The only thing that didn’t hurt were my quads and hamstrings and I attribute that to hauling this body around daily on the elliptical. Thank the Lord, HONESTLY, that I did NOT have the baby yesterday.

SO, Aqua Zumba is no joke. It might look like fun, and it IS, but it IS a workout. An intense one I imagine even if you aren’t pregnant. And I got to take Gooner. And there was awesome dance music. And it caused CRAZY contractions after the fact.

So yah, still no baby. C’mon! She’s waiting for February because it has a prettier birth stone. I already have a girl that loves make up, tutu’s, dresses, skirts, hair bows…WHATEVER else is girlie…surely Sooner wants a purple birth stone. Wait, maybe it is because when I am DONE having babies I want a PRETTY floral Mother’s Ring or something. So, she can wait until February, BUT as soon as it hits, boy this girl better kick it into HIGH GEAR.

Sooner, this is your mother speaking. I’m moody and hormonal.

Sorry guys, no picture. My maternity swimsuit is black and my skin has not seen the sun for a loooooooong time, hence the “orca” comment above. You have the picture.

Excitement: She will be here soon. Can I hear an amen?

Sooner: She’s measuring 35 weeks… This is small when you are in your 38th week of pregnancy. Gooner was 8.67 lbs. It isn’t as if we naturally grow small babies… Option #1: We grow small babies – not likely. Option #2:  The cord is around her neck. Option #3: The placenta isn’t working properly so she isn’t getting her nutrients and will come out VERY hungry. Awesome. My nipples are VERY excited to hear that… Did you read the sarcasm there? You did? Ok good.

Contractions: I’m having “the real thing.” They start in my back and wrap around to my stomach. They are NO FUN.  (But LOADS LOADS LOADS better than pitocin.) Midwife says I will be lucky to make it to my due date AND with Sooner being small and consistantly NOT growing, she doesn’t really want me to.

Working Out: I wanted to cry at the gym last night because physical activity brings the contractions HARDER and CLOSER. I felt like everyone was staring at me – they were – and I felt self concious. I normally don’t care what other people think…at all…so this feeling is new. And I’m not a fan. I just wanted to work out, and work through my contractions by myself…I probably shouldn’t have been in a crowded gym on a Monday night then…

Food: I was hungrier this week. Red flag; the midwife was REALLY hoping that Baby Sister would have a growth spurt.

YOU: all have begun the baby stalking, which makes me feel more excited…because you are excited. I’m not posting, yet I am still getting high traffic. It’s either because my writing has just become PHENOMINAL here at the end OR it is because you are on baby watch! I wonder…Must be because you are hoping to gain a glimpse of Sooner!!!! Me too.

He looks so handsome in his suit…meanwhile I’m a stay at home Mom barefoot and pregnant…I wouldn’t have it any other way! Well, SOON I won’t be pregnant, but the barefoot part doesn’t bother me at all! When Q and I first met, we both were in politics so although I go to events with him, most of the time I live vicariously through him. Session is an insane time for our family. Q is busy. SUPER busy and his work load triples. He hired additional staff which HELPS, but still… PLUS, anyone following the Republican party? Yah, Presidential ELECTIONS! My man is B.U.S.Y. He will go from the session straight into campaign mode until Election Day in November. That’s 11 months of fast and furious political action without a break!! What is our reward for all this madness? Spending Christmas on the beaches in Jamaica with Q’s father (who happens to be also involved in Politics).

Can I just tell you HOW EXCITED WE ARE THAT BABY GIRL HAS NOT COME YET???? This week has already been hectic. It’s busy. He goes very early and works late. And oh yah…

in the midst of this we are having a baby. An infant. In the house. And we ALL know that the first month is a doozy. And the second month is better. The third month is glory. The 4th month your baby has personality and then boom, session will be over. Who planned this? Oh yah, we “did.”

Q and I are planners. We plan EVERYTHING. We’ve been accused recently of not being “spontaneous” enough. Oh wait, we were accused of being “the least spontaneous couple we’ve ever met.” – the Neighbor. We have two kids. One car. And a man with a busy work schedule. And a Mom who LOVES to be with her family. Pardon ME if I don’t want to just HOST you and your family of 4 UNINVITED in the spirit of spontaneity.

Q and I are usually up for adventure, yet at the same time, our adventure usually happens on the weekend. We like to go to bed early AND wake up early. You, NEIGHBOR, need to realize that we DON’T have family around so if you call us to go DANCING at 6 p.m. on Friday night and want us ready by 7 AND have a babysitter come….we are going to need a little MORE planning. If my parents lived close by – like yours do - I WOULD call them and see if they would LOVE to come. But they DON’T. So we want to SAVE our DATES for MORE PLANNING.

Basically the relationship is toxic. Or was. Since the friendship was “ended” via her text msg.

Back to the basics. Session is a big time for Q and our family. And he is sworn in today and I am SO PROUD! And are we the only ones with seriously wacky neighbors????

Maybe not.

Q has been VERY helpful this pregnancy. I don’t think I could do it without him. It’s good the man can live on power bars and twigs and leaves because my cooking has SLOWED. I’m am beat at the end of the day and if it weren’t for him we wouldn’t have supper OR clean clothes. I haven’t turned into a lazy bum, my brain has just stopped working once I hit a certain exhaustion during the day. I should start using the crock pot. I’m open to all no brainer recipes if you have them!

Be nice. This is AFTER a workout and swim!

Emotionally: I’m ready to meet her. I feel her little personality already emerging and I’m ready to call her by her name. Her REAL name…not Sooner. And we call her Sooner to each other and to everyone. Gooner calls her “baby sister.” We never use her name, but it’s SO CLOSE, we want to.

Physically: We are at the gym 3 days a week and I’m working out 3 days a week at home. This baby will NOT slow me down… Except when I need to pick something up off the floor… Or move quickly somewhere… Of course I have contractions every day, but nothing worthy of monitoring. Makes me wonder if we are in it for the long haul.

Gooner: Wants to “go to the doctor to pick up sister.” Apparently this is where babies come from….if only. She also placed socks on my belly the other day and told me to “put them on sister. Her feet’s cold.”

EDD: It feels weird. She could come “at any time” or she could come late in February. There is just no telling and it messes with my head that I don’t know the month. I want to know the month. Babies don’t work that way and I can’t PLAN accordingly. I don’t feel like she will come early. Secretly I’m afraid that she’s going to stay put and I’m going to end up in the midwives office in the middle of February talking about pitocin or something. Maybe by then I won’t care…?

Clothing: Nothing fits. I am huge, yet at the same timer there is still room to grow. Freaky. People have started using words like “pop” and “any moment.” I live in the same pair of yoga pants…every day. Q bought them for me; he probably hates them now.

2nd Pregnancy: This has been an easier pregnancy than Gooner, BUT having an active toddler…have MERCY! Walking to the park has become such a chore. I can walk to the park, but once there Gooner wants me to play with her. PLAY? Are you kidding me Mama needs to sit! Only problem is it is JANUARY and all the benches are covered in ice or snow and are made of freezing concrete. And THEN we need to walk back. And start supper. And clean up. And, And, And… Exhaustion.

YET this is my last month with JUST Gooner. Things are going to change and I often regularly struggle with change. Oh it will be good, hello Fabulousness that is our offspring!  BUT, it WILL be different. And no matter how good, I know there will be less energy for Gooner at the beginning. I’m not worried about multiplying my love, or loving either girl MORE or LESS. For the love, this Mama has loads of love to give, but ya know. Change.

Does anyone want to guess arrival date and time? You can guess weight if you want BUT if you guess over 9 pounds I’m going to be mad at you and I won’t forgive you until my hormones have worn off – which will be MONTHS from now. MONTHS. And I might send you hate mail.

Keep checking folks, at some point there will be an ARRIVAL post. And maybe a labor/delivery post. Do you want her birth story?

She is EVER ready with her “glubs” to help.

Other days I feel like the thought of dragging myself to the kitchen to merely unload the dishwasher is paramount to climbing a mountain with a pack full of bricks. I am most definitely NOT nesting, but I am beginning to realize that I have a lot to get done. A lot NEEDS done before she is here! My due date is in a  month. I am full term in just a few days… We all know what that date means…. It is a 40 week mark used to lure expectant mothers into thinking that they are almost done when they could in fact go for two more… While the “whole world” checks your blog and facebook daily WAITING for the big announcement. So it COULD be next month, BUT it COULD be February. Having a baby DUE at the end of the month is odd. I KNEW Gooner was going to be a May baby; not this time around…

But back to the point…our home is seriously lacking! Work then sit. Work then sit. For me, pregnancy with a toddler at home is WAY HARDER than being pregnant and working three jobs – which is what I did with Gooner. There is just NO down time. I don’t have energy for her energy. And soon this baby will come out and oh dear. I can’t imagine TWO children on top of LESS sleep. The sleep will be BETTER… there will just be LESS of it. But that’s ok because that is why God made coffee beans…for mothers…