Surviving Suburbia, Or Not

Suburbia is NOT my American Dream… if such a thing exists. Every dream is different. I either want a 10 foot fence – no too stifling – or wide open spaces…no longer suburbia.

The neighbor came over yesterday to say goodbye. I actually had tears. You see, houses in our neighborhood went up 59 %. You guys, that’s ridiculous. THAT is why they are calling Colorado the next California. The neighbors are leaving because it is SO expensive to live here. Too expensive. A forced moved. We all got the dreaded assessment slips in the mail. Normally I wait to open the mail until I get home, but this time I couldn’t. And it was worse than expected. Unless you want to sell. Since getting our cards in the mail FOUR houses have popped up within walking distance.

It’s hard not to pack up everything and head for the hills. I mean, will our house ever be worth this much? EVER? Probably not. I really just want to pack everything up and LEAVE SUBURBIA. I can’t stand the drunken summer parties and the gossip.

The gossip. You guys. Mud is slung so fast around this place. Nothing is off limits. Then there are the Facebook groups. Who is getting fined for what and who is leaving their shopping carts in the parking lot instead of putting it in the cart return. One woman commented saying, “People who don’t put their carts away probably voted for Trump. They have no souls.” Really? Let’s complain about people who leave their trash cans out and the bears come out to feast. In fact two weeks ago a neighbor’s dog got eaten. We received a notice from the Sheriff to keep our children inside after dark. Let’s complain about THOSE people if we HAVE to. Which we don’t.

We have neighbors that legit walk around with jello-shots on cookie sheets during the summer. With mason jars filled with vodka. All judging my man and I because we don’t want to drink neon gelatin from a Dixie cup. Murmurs of us “thinking we are too good for them” and longtime arguments over a fence can be heard from various states of inebriation.

So it’s hard. It’s hard not to leave the rat race and disappear into obscurity. To sell high and leave all the traffic and drama behind. Buuuuut we won’t, at least not yet. Sometimes you have to do hard things…like pay a HUGE increase in taxes. Listen to gossip around you. And see the “good neighbors” go. To understand that feelings come and go and you can’t make decisions on how you feel. Even though I want to.

Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE our house and I’m so very thankful I have it to come home to every day. I love having a yard and not hearing neighbors above me. I love the space and the huge bathtub. I absolutely LOVE having an attached garage. And two cars. I truly love my family and THAT is what matters.

Categories: Family | Tags: , , | 1 Comment

Un′a·pol′o·get′i·cal·ly Me.

I’ve slowly been morphing into who I have become. Husband. Marriage. Children. Experiences. So much has happened. To make me, well, me. And yet, I’m still me.

I still say what I want to say, when I want to say it. I STILL have opinions about everything, and have no problems communicating them.

For a time motherhood swallowed me up. For six years I was pregnant, breast feeding or attempting to persuade a young mind that going to the bathroom IN the toilet was better than peeing RIGHT where you are standing.

My friendships were forced. I was friends with women in similar walks of life. It was DAYS of diapers, breast milk and what to throw together for supper. You bond over lack of sleep and an in-ablity to finish a complete load of laundry. Go out on a date? I was lucky to make it through an hour of “Revenge.”

Buuuut, the Littlest turns three

this month and Q and I are celebrating 9 years of marriage. And guess what? We made it out of the trenches. Those terrible years of people nodding in understanding, rubbing your back, telling you “YOU WILL MAKE IT,” but offering no help. Of the church asking you to serve, and with a tear rolling down your face you turn to your husband and whisper, “but I have nothing left to give.”DSCN1606

Instead I am left with time. I have more time. People said I wouldn’t. People said it would get worse. It being “parenting” of course. And in some ways it does; I have a new parenting book from the library. With Gooner turning 8, I’m in for a world of advice.

My brain also has begun working again. I have thoughts. Original thoughts. Rebuttals. I’ve started caring less about what other people think. For some reason I actually LISTENED when people judged me on parenting. I was vulnerable. I drowned my sorrows with food and reality TV.  I remember going to a Christmas party and being completely ignored by a woman only to have her tell me days later, “If I’d known you were Q’s wife I’d have introduced myself!” Nothing deflates self worth quite like a woman introducing herself on the merits of your husband. At a different party we did a “speed dating” game wheren’ a stranger introduced herself by saying, “My husband is a client of your husbands.” And let me tell you, Q. is amazing. He’s wonderful, successful and kind.

All this to say I’ve been getting the itch to write. To tell the tales of…life. Of the silly/dumb things people say. Why? Because I like to write! …even if only my Mom reads this. This blog has always been an amazing outlet. A place to chronicle my life. Get feedback. Complain. It will continue. I have never striven to be perfect. I won’t have a blog of perfection. I’m not a perfect wife, parent or friend. I hate this pressure to be perfect, and to have the perfect body that I feel at times. Most times.

Plus I take more pictures when I’m going to blog about it. I KNOW my Mom would like that. I used to take pictures like this because I ate green things and loved it. And blogging kept me accountable to working out and eating healthy. And it was my space; I miss it.IMG_6736

Categories: Family, Parenting | Tags: , | 6 Comments

Essential Oil – Lip Balm

  1. 2 Tablespoon Beeswax! We used white pellets, and added them to a glass jar.dscn1545
  2. If you have “help,” misshaps WILL happen. Beeswax ended up all over the table and floor.dscn1546
  3. Next you have your choice of Shea, Mango or Cocoa Butter. We chose Shea and added 2 tablespoons.dscn1547
  4. Next we added 2 tablespoons of coconut oil. All the girls wanted to help.dscn1548
  5. Taking turns is a challenge when you are 2.dscn1550
  6. While we were making oily projects Q. serenaded us with Christmas carols on the guitar.dscn1551
  7. Next we put water in a pan, and placed the jar full of oils inside. While they heated up together we set up the empty tubes.dscn1553
  8. Although plastic isn’t fantastic…have you ever let little ones use a tin for chapstick? Um, they GOUGE it out with fingers. plural. Uh, no. We ordered tubes.dscn1554
  9. Once everything was melted we added Spearmint Essential Oils. We added 20 drops and it smells so yummy!dscn1555
  10. I ended up filling 9 tubes.dscn1556

 

You guys, this Lip Balm is SO nice. I really like it when I am in charge of what goes in my body, or on it! Next time I think I will try Peppermint or Cinnamon Bark! Yum.

If you need an oily kit click here. Everyone should have an oil kit in their home!

Categories: Essential Oils | Tags: , | 9 Comments

Celiac Sprue

When the chips are down, you find out who your friends/family are. This is the truth. During my third pregnancy, with Dimples, I was incredibly sick. After delivery the sickness (I’m talking about throwing up everything you eat) was GONE, but I began to feel yucky. My stomach was always aching and purchasing antacids became a regular occurrence. My energy levels plummeted, but I thought it was from having three children and a husband who travels. I continued to workout, but it was awful. I truly struggled. I would jog and my muscles would cramp up. They would spasm, my body was betraying me. I began to have quite the belly. I looked pregnant and I hadn’t had a baby in 2 years. My friends would ask me out for ladies night and I was too exhausted to go. My face broke out with small boils. I would scratch my face till it bled, and it felt like ants were crawling under my skin. At one point I visited a dermatologist; she said it was definitely NOT food related. We spent 400$ on products that burned the flesh off my face. I was embarrassed. I counted calories and I worked out daily. I continued to gain 1 to 2 pounds a month. I logged onto myfitnesspal every day for 145 days straight and yet I gained. I would eat 1400 a day or 2000 calories and I’d still gain. It didn’t matter. NOTHING worked. I cried to Q. or my Mom daily. DAILY. I was so sad. Friends didn’t understand, and frankly, neither did we. Once the bumps and boils moved to my scalp, it was time to meet with a nutritionist. Q. and I had long believed I had am allergy to dairy or gluten.

And boom. I have Celiac Disease or Celiac Sprue. Continuing to eat gluten will hurt my small intestines. Consuming it makes me miserable. If I do ,I get bumps that fill with fluid and eventually scab over. Lovely right? And I get super sleepy, grumpy and get an upset stomach.

Now I don’t eat wheat protein, and I feel awesome. Firstly: you should never feel miserable on a regular basis. If you do, get help. Some people know more than you…and that’s ok. And some people don’t, like that dermatologist. Secondly: If your friends don’t understand you and what you are going through, put some space between you. They will either come back to you OR will move on. Build your tribe with people who love and respect you. Thirdly: Other people WILL be offended by your eating choices. It WILL bother people when you turn down anything.

Be you.dscn1395

Categories: Education, Family, Nutrition, Wellness | Tags: | 4 Comments

Diapers be Gone

And just like that, this family is done with diapers. Potty training is always a difficult time.

DSCN1292She turns two at the end of April and SHE wanted to do it. Life doesn’t stop for little girls wanting to use the potty, and she was a champ at the stores. I couldn’t find three days to just STAY at home, so we did it on the move. It REALLY helps to have older sisters to show you how it’s done.

I feel like my baby became a little girl over night!

These girls. Oh my heart. 20151226_122811

My Mom made the dresses. She’s amazing.

Wait til you see what she made for Easter!!!!

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Hiking Season

Hiking is amazing. Hiking with littles can be a challenge…especially with diapers. There is NOTHING zen about changing a diaper on the side of a trail…or on the trail. And we all know the rules, hike it in and hike it out! Leave no trace. So now you have a bag full of diaper poo. It’s gross. Now that she’s turning two next month and potty trained, the world is FULL of possibilities! As long as you can squat in the woods you can go anywhere!

We bought a new hiking book. I’m so excited to hit the trails! Colorado is tricky and will most likely throw another snow storm at us. It is supposed to snow when my Mom is here for Easter. And Gooner, she turns 7 this year. I can’t even handle it.

Categories: Family, Hiking, Outdoors | Tags: , | 1 Comment

Are Children Born Racist?

But first, she’s getting so big and ever so cute!DSCN1189

When it comes to mixed, bi-racial, or minorities… I am a shoe in. Absolutely nobody in their right mind could call me racist, although many have. Due to this, black, white, Hispanic, Asian…all believe I feel the same way they do regardless of having NEVER spoken to them before. Folks…NEVER assume. I’ve seen some photos flying around facebook… “Children Aren’t Born Racist.” I agree, children aren’t BORN racist, but they are BORN seeing race. YOU see race even if you aren’t racist. My girls, from the moment they are born, stare at my white face. They eat staring at my blue eyes and my pale face. So, it should come as no surprise that my girls, until at LEAST age 2, are afraid of black women. They scream. They cry. They run away. And then the lectures begin…”you need to get your girls around black people!” “Your girl is going to grow up white if you don’t get her around black people!” These types of comments no longer offend me, they merely annoy me. Both Gooner AND Sooner saw themselves as white until one day some ignorant kid TOLD them they were different. They saw themselves as white because I am their primary caregiver. They stare at me ALL.DAY.LONG. Yes, they have a black Dad, but they are with me most of the time. Why does this matter? It matters because black women get VERY offended when my black little girl screams and runs away. I normally just tell the women, sorry. That she needs a nap. Because this too shall pass.

Curious yet? My “mixed” or “bi-racial” 6 year old identifies herself as black. She decided that all on her own. She knows she’s different…because she is, but so far it hasn’t been a big deal.

So this thing flying around Facebook about race…you are born loving that person you call Mom. And the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. – Dr. Bill Watson Normally, if a kid is racist so is his/her Mom.

In conclusion, if a child runs away from you…don’t be offended. Stranger danger, you aren’t Mom.

 

 

Categories: Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Hello, Winter.

Storm. After storm. After Blizzard. I love this! Oh, Colorado. I LOVE putting on my boots and heading outside with the girls. I saw the snow out the window and just wanted to swan dive into the powder. I could see myself sailing down the mountain on a pair of freshly waxed skis. Although Q says boarding is better. Who knows… ?

IMG_20151117_163627

18 Inches of Snow

Since we have littles I spend the day drinking coffee and snuggled in a fluffy blanket. My Mom made this for the 3rd Edition BUT, seriously? She doesn’t appreciate it like I do. And do you like my manicure? Yah… I still have a girl in diapers. I mean, having long nails would mean poop stuck up in there. Gross.

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Coffee and Fluffy

This is my little baker. She LOVES to help. I love her helping…for the most part. It takes 30 times as long BUT it tastes 100 times sweeter! Her favorite part is eating the flour. The FLOUR. Ew.  And she will be 4 soon.IMG_20151120_144917Happy Thanksgiving! I have SO MUCH to be thankful for! And so do YOU!

Categories: Family, Outdoors | Tags: , | 4 Comments

The Silver Platter

Most of my Mom’s family thinks I was handed life on a silver platter. Like they literally think that I STILL receive whatever I want. As in I received whatever I want growing up, and how I receive it now…. HA! Wait, I have one confession. ONE.

So my Dad is addicted to Chapstick. Like, take it away from him and he.can’t.think. He can’t even function. This is survival. I’m certain if you asked my Dad what he would take with him if he were stranded on an island…he’d take Chaptstick. First wish from a Genie? Forget world peace. Unlimited Original Chapstick delivered to my pocket please. I’m certain that if his last tube melted in the hot Texas sun, he would pull a Macgyver stunt and scrape it off. Dust? Chunks? Doesn’t matter. So, as a girl if we went to the store, by ourselves, Dad would buy me chapstick. He’d say, “need anything?” “Yah Dad, Chapstick.” He wouldn’t even question it, and he KNEW where the chapstick was. I’d pick something fruity, like Melon Burst, and he’d tease me. I did this EVERY time. I came to this marriage of mine with a drawer full. A DRAWER full. It took this seven years to finish and I had to actually buy my own. So yes, Chapstick was handed to me on a silver platter.Sepia-1110

My sister and I worked hard. Don’t think for a minute that if my sister and I had chosen to drink, party and have babies before marriage that there wouldn’t have been consequences. There would have been. And they would have been swift. And painful. If I asked for something that cost, a lot, they would laugh. We laugh a lot.IMG_8161

But my parents are giving. Princess Heidi She sews most everything for the girls.

Are we blessed? Absolutely. IMG_8717

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Happy Anniversary, Year SEVEN

7 Years. Holy Happiness.

Sepia-1098 This man.

Sepia-712 I had a Bridezilla moment and refused to walk down the isle until I spoke with him. Sometimes ONLY your man’s voice will do. Sepia0043We are truly happy. I mean. Seriously.

And the support of family is huge. Sepia-94HUGE.Sepia-285  Thinking of an interracial, bi-cultural marriage? It is AH-Mazing, but it does come with unique challenges. All the pre.marital counseling isn’t going to prepare you for that! But we plowed on, learned each others buttons and then stopped pressing them! Baby Blessing #1 IMG_5760Baby Blessing #2IMG_7699 and Baby Blessing #3   DSCN0483 Oh yes, this man has brought me much JOY!

PS. Whole30 Update Soon (I’m on Day 16)

Categories: Uncategorized | 4 Comments

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