Christmas Tree Lighting and Drama

My photography skills need some work yah?

Ok, this one is better.Gooner had a lot of fun at the Christmas Tree lighting at a nearby mall. I take that back. We ALL had fun. We even broke down and bought Gooner a winter hat!

OK, I’ve a bone to pick! It has to do with the touchy subject of friendship. I appreciate honesty. Sometimes it hurts, but I appreciate it. For example: hanging out…that’s what friends do, right? WELL, I happened to move to my old stomping ground right in the thick of a busy holiday season. Here are a list of normal AND acceptable excuses: we have family in town; right now is so busy; I just moved and we are unpacking; this semester of grad school is killing me – maybe in January; and the such… These all seem normal and completely acceptable to me. We are friends. The timing is not right, but it will be and I look forward to that.

What I DON’T like is when friends TRY to squeeze you in. Like when they call and leave a message saying they have this person to see, and then this person, and then this person… and OH they MIGHT be able to see you for ten minutes if you don’t mind meeting me at insert location here. I don’t know when I was last offended on such a grand of scale. A friend called and since the rest of her day was filled with friends, she only had time to go to church with us to hang out. Really? How on earth are we going to catch up on 5 years at church? During the meet and greet? During the sermon? On the way out to the car? I just don’t get it. I’m beyond offended. Honestly, I would have felt LOADS better if she had just said her holiday was jam packed and that she’d have to catch up with me at the next go round – ok, sounds great!  But she didn’t. She seemed pretty annoyed that we didn’t have a church yet. She wanted to know details RIGHT THEN. Um, what? So she told me to text her details since she wouldn’t have time to talk to me on the phone. REALLY? So I texted her my feelings that it felt like she was just fitting me in as opposed to actually wanting to hang out. She responded with, “Ok. Have a blessed Thanksgiving.”  SERIOUSLY?

How do you handle situations like this? Do you continue to work at the friendship or just let it fade away…until that person has a crisis and calls you again?

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Categories: Friends | 16 Comments

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16 thoughts on “Christmas Tree Lighting and Drama

  1. Wow. I hope you can get it figured out. Maybe test the waters after Christmas and see what happens. I hope you do have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

  2. That’s so irritating. I realize we’re all busy, but if that’s the case then just SAY so. You know?

  3. I’d be a little put off too!

    Maybe give it another go after the holidays. Although it’s easier said than done, try to give her the benefit of the doubt. Then if things don’t work out great, you’ll know that YOU tried.

  4. I love both of those photos, but the 2nd the most!

    Oh jeez La, I’m not sure what to tell you. Her response though is really interesting. I don’t understand at all.

  5. Supe cute pic of your loves. Onto the issue, my sister went through this with her friend. And it eventually worked itself out but not with out a lot of phone calls to me (from my sister) and other friends as she tried to figure out how to handle it. I say let things settle and try again later. If after a 2nd attempt there is still no change then I’d say cut your loses.

  6. Wow, that’s hard. I’m actually going through something similar. Needless to say, we still haven’t hung out…
    I don’t know if I would be the best person for advice on this. But if she has always been this way, it may not be the best friendship to try and salvage.

  7. Cute pics but the drama sounds pretty hurtful! I must admit, when I was reading your story I blushed a little because I am usually that friend who has the best of intentions and tries to SQUEEZE everything and everyone into 1 impossible day. It’s always out of love, but I think I need to reconsider these habits:( There could be a zillion things going on with your friend. Maybe give it a little space now but readdress it after schedules settle down in January?

  8. Ahh, I love the Christmas light pic with Gooner and Q. Even the first one is pretty great. I like how the lights look! 🙂 A tricky situation with your friend…for sure. I have a friend that did something very similar…and the first few times when she came to town to “squeeze” us in…it just didn’t work out. I mean, I’m not going to take both my kids (at least one of which who would be napping) and head across town to try and keep them quiet at some restaurant so we can “catch up” and she can meet the baby, etc…If she really wants to meet our newest addition she can Come. To. Our. House. Ya know? And we could really chat…A couple of months back, she did just that. It was great. I made supper, we all got to chat, and it wasn’t rushed or weird. 🙂 Relationships can be so tricky…at least you told your friend how you felt and now honestly…I think it’s up to her. If she wants to “stick with it” she can work out a time to come to you–or at least give you a call. Hope you guys have an amazing Thanksgiving in CO!! If we ever make it over that way again, I’d love to meet your family, or even go to church with you all, ha! 🙂

  9. LeAnna

    Gooner is such a cutie, I’m glad ya’ll are settling in!

    You totally catch up DURING the sermon, making sure to make as big of a scene as possible. DUH. 😉

    Not really. Some friendships just fade, some don’t. Life is so busy, and we can’t always be at the level of friendship that we used to be (just like you said, right now you’re in a busy season, etc.) Some days we have hours to talk on the phone, some months we don’t. And that’s where you just have to keep in touch in whatever way you can. And the best part is that if a friendship is a really good one, both parties understand that, ya know?

    Pray about it, God will give you peace with an answer!

  10. Looks like you had fun at the tree lighting!!

    I can understand how hurt you are…I am totally busy until January, and have told friends that want to get together that because I am not the type to squeeze anyone in, I like to have time to catch up and it be convenient for both of us…I hate being rushed, or my days jammed packed with plans. I think you should give her another chance though, she may of had the best intentions…I don’t know her and what she is like but I know the type, and they usually genuinely want to spend time with me, but really don’t have the time so they try and make it….where it seems like I am being “squeezed in”–it can be annoying, but all you can do it tell her how you feel and see what happens after the holidays.

  11. I agree with LeAnna. Pray about it, God will give you an answer. Personally, I have found that some friendships aren’t worth the trouble. I know that might sound kind of mean, and I don’t mean in “meanly”, ha! But, really. If the effort of a friendship is too much trouble, just don’t call her. If she wants to hang out with you, she’ll call you when she wants. Be kind, attempt to fit her in if you have the time, but don’t go out of your way to facilitate a friendship. Unless of course, you have an absolute blast together, and can’t bear to live without her. Some friends are just that good. And, if that’s the case, you’ll both find each other time and again. Just my thoughts. 🙂

  12. I kind of like the first photo!! 🙂

    That sounds like a tough situation! I would try talking to her, and if she still isn’t willing to try, then I would just back away for a while…

  13. I think I’d have to say goodbye to that friend! Sure we’re all busy, but that seems a little ridiculous.
    Can’t wait to see Gooner’s new hat!!

  14. Clarissa

    Christmas lights are my fav, and friends don’t ditch friends so casually without consequences. I would be mad, too.

  15. fun christmas pics!!!! i love tree lightings!

    wow, i can’t imagine having that many friends to try to go from one to the next everyday. ha! here’s what i’m discovering… as much as i’d love to have get-togethers and playdates often, it’s not so practical with little kids who need naps, bottles, etc, etc. i’ve come to this conclusion after sage was born. i always put so much pressure on myself to keep up with everyone, but now have come to realize that right now, in this season of life, a phone call may just have to do. and yes, along with that comes the fading away of friendships. – i think it happens to everyone.

    ps. please enjoy that beautiful colorado scenery for me. : )

  16. Ugh…I’m sorry you are dealing with that. Recently, it was a “family” member who did something similar…but on an even more embarrassing scale (basically…she will NOT come to my house…everything has to be on her terms, yadda yadda). At first I just thought it was a “phase”, but she continued to treat me, and others the same way.It’s much worse when it is someone you are related too…I REALLY don’t know how to handle the situation. Pretty much just prayed about, and moved on for now. : |

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