Première partie – Transmogrification

I’m not one to join the bandwagon…mostly because I don’t want to be like everyone else. BUT, sometimes everyone else is on to something.

When I went to college ALMOST EVERY GIRL was doing a Beth Moore Bible Study. While I was working out and running multitudes of girls were meeting in small groups to go over their studies that they had poured over throughout the week. I wasn’t sure if this was a lame excuse for a gossip session or if Beth Moore was truly that awesome. Honestly, I didn’t care…I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want a “spiral” and I didn’t want a workbook. What if – God forbid – He used Beth Moore to tell me to break up with my no good boyfriend? What if I  FINALLY joined a small group of girls, I “opened up” and it came back to haunt me? Girls can be mean and I was not SUPER friendly in college. I knew who I was and held myself and others to impossible standards. For example, I gave up caffeine and soda my first year of college…and it annoyed me when I saw other people drink it. It is bad for you, STOP. I also decided that I would go to bed at a normal hour so that I wouldn’t take naps, like everyone else. I refused to drink or party. I held a job, received great grades and was in the best shape of my life.  I didn’t understand why other people didn’t do this. And if they didn’t do this they weren’t really my friends. And since no one else wanted to run in the mountains with me 2 to 4 times a week… I went to the shelter and came home with a dog. I trained her to run in the mountains without a leash and not fall off the side. I truly was a 3 friend type of girl. I didn’t WANT a whole bunch of friends. I mean I had friends, but only a few who I actually wanted to talk to and spend time with. And then my BEST friend and I had a HUGE falling out. I was partly wrong. She was partly wrong. It was one of those fights where you wished EVERYTHING could just NOT HAVE HAPPENED. But we moved on. You have to you know. But for me it was another chink in my armour…don’t trust girls.

And then I grew up. Life happened. I lived in Turkey. Lived in DC. Met Q. Got married. Had a kid. Publically made fun of women who felt the need for constant “play groups” and “mommy dates.” I gained weight. I struggled.

As Gooner grows I realize that I WANT to talk to other mothers….does your kid hit? Is this just a stage in their lives? What do YOU do in this situation? And I find myself changing as well. I’m still sorta the same – I don’t understand why you don’t work out. Why don’t you just go to bed earlier and stop drinking 5-hour energy shots… But now I see that it’s hard to workout when you are 30 pounds overweight, it’s hard not to reach for caffeine or SOMETHING after a night of no sleep, but a day full of responsibilities.

Do you want part Deux?

Categories: Friends, Random | 15 Comments

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15 thoughts on “Première partie – Transmogrification

  1. YES. Part deux, s’il te plait!

    I am very interested in where you are going with this…

  2. yes!

  3. yes, yes, yes…continue 🙂

    girls can be mean. I had a huge group of friends in high school, a few of them I considered my “best” friends…but I always somehow was made to fell out of place when we were all together..the cliques within the clique I guess. I always got along better with my guy friends. When I decided I needed to be healthier (mentally), I “purged” most of my old girlfriends, because I didn’t like how I felt when I was with them, or how they made me feel.

  4. Please go on!

  5. Yes!

    Girls ARE mean…and I still struggle with trusting women. I have my BFF, that I trust completely, but other than that, I keep women an arm’s reach away. I’ve been burned too many times. It’s something I’m working on….being more open.

  6. Yes! Please give us part two. I think it’s only natural for our lives to change and for us to want different things as we grow older!

  7. you better continue.

    i really think we would’ve been one of each other’s three friends… i was the EXACT same way in college.

    i want to hang out with other mothers, but at the same time, i find myself struggling to do so. i think i mentioned that to you before.

  8. Yes, bring on part deux!

    I totally know where you are coming from on the girl friends department. I’ve been hurt by so many spiteful women that it’s really hard for me to open up and truly trust another female. It’s hard! You sound a lot like me when I was younger too. I had a really harden heart for awhile.

    Running is good! Week 4 baby!! I went and bought a new pair of running shoes today. I started getting shin splints a little bit and decided to switch shoes. Running went better today with the new kicks. I need to tally up my miles! How are you doing with it?

  9. Jean Moine

    I understand that girls can be mean (although they have never been to me personally) but then again one should be able to accept people’s differences.

    I have friends who like to party hard and not work out. Doesn’t make them less of a good person because at the end of the day, it is the personality that counts. I myself like to work out quite a bit but not everyone is like that 🙂

    There is something good in different kind of people and most people can teach you something about yourself (except for Scientologists :P)


  10. Yes, yes!!
    A couple of years before I had Maggie I decided to lose weight and run and everyone’s annoying habits of bad eating, caffeine drinking and not running annoyed me…and my coworkers picked on me for being a size 6 and watching my “diet”. But then I realized that you just never know what it’s like to be in another persons shoes. With our current situation the way it is, I’m not as critical of that mom with kids the exact same age as mine that sends her daughter to preschool 5 days a week and has a NASTY house. I have my own set of struggles (when do I shower?) that others wouldn’t understand. I try to look at other moms and just accept them for what they are.

  11. Post like this remind me why i love you so. And why you probably look at my blog and laugh at my lack of motion to run or do any sort of committed workout. but you still love me and my circle shower curtain 🙂

  12. Yes, continue please! 🙂

  13. mrsleahmaria

    Ahhh, I love growing up. 🙂

  14. Adie

    I am the same way about friends. I have been since highschool. Well actually since I can remember. I have a number of great friends as an adult but not a circle of friends. So each of my friends I can enjoy time with individually and they are not people I need to call of the time, they are secure in our friendship. I think that is super nice! Part deux please. 🙂 Happy Thursday dear friend!

  15. I love this!

    I have never done a Beth Moore Study. I suppose I should. I just don’t like doing what everyone else is doing, which is really silly and immature of me.

    I have been the same way about friends in the past. And, motherhood has changed that for me too. Also, I think that I’ve tried to become more open minded to other people as time has gone on… so instead of becoming offended by someone “hurting” me, trying to just blow it off and move on, or see their viewpoint/be ok with their opinion even though it doesn’t match mine has helped me a lot.

    Can’t wait to scroll up and read part two!

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