At Peace.

“Is she yours?” – A stranger asked the question. Someone I had never met before. And of course, she was talking about Gooner.

Throughout the first year of Gooner’s life I HATED this question, or questions like it. I GAVE BIRTH to her, give me some credit strangers! For some reason it hurt my feelings that they thought I got her from somewhere. It made me mad when folks wondered where I’d gotten her or what she was mixed with. I responded with witty comments like “her father.”

Anyway, at Q’s soccer game this week I was asked, while hugging Gooner, if she was mine. And for the first time it didn’t matter to me at all. I responded with, “Of course.” And moved on. It just didn’t seem to matter where I got her. I saw the situation for what it was – a woman wondered what a white woman was doing with a brown kid. And it was ok. She was just curious. It doesn’t really matter. I don’t need to allow my feelings to get hurt because someone is curious. How ridiculous is that?

PS. Q. told me that he is doing a special Valentin’s Post on Monday. I can’t imagine what he will say so I’m excited to read about it as well!

Categories: Gooner | 16 Comments

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16 thoughts on “At Peace.

  1. well I think your Gooner is beautiful and I would be so proud to claim that God given gift. At peace is right!

    oh and I wanted to let you know, don’t feel discouraged about your diet. You can do this. Just keep trying to figure out what makes you feel the best! you got this!


  2. It amazes me that anyone would ask this question. …and it makes me sad that it isn’t 100% socially accepted today. Sad. People are people. Gooner is beautiful.

  3. what a gerat post my friend!
    great perspective and something everyone needs to remember….great reminder to us all….to stop being annoyed w/ silly people.
    Thank you! 🙂

  4. Mike & I get the same question ALL THE TIME! I really don’t think it has as much to do with what your child looks like as what you may think. Lots of people say that we look too young to have two kids (HA!) or little things like that.

    • Well when you pair it with, “What is she mixed with?” I think it’s pretty clear. And the tone is not a surprised you are too young, it is a “HUH? What happened here?”

  5. I wish Gooner was mine…shoot! A little slice of heaven with brown curly hair?? SIgn me up! She’s precious and so are you. I’m glad you’re learning to shake it off.

  6. So glad God has given you the grace to deal with that question kindly. I hope the “askers” have the presence of mind to feel slightly ashamed of themselves after the fact though. She is so precious, what an amazing gift her parents have in her. 🙂

  7. Yes. We all get annoyed at peoples silly questions. I can completely understand. Bravo to you for just answering and not letting it get to you again. It’s all you can do. People have nerve, huh??

    Happy Valentines Day to you, Q and Gooner! Can’t wait to see the special post 😉

  8. I love your response about what Gooner is mixed with–so hilarious!! She’s a beautiful girl and that’s all anyone needs to know! 🙂

  9. I love that you say “her father.” I bet that gets ’em! I’ve had people ask me if I’m pregnant quite a few times throughout my life, and I’ve learned that responding with “I’m just fat” is a hoot… their facial expressions are priceless! 😉

    • You are funny! After I had Gooner and I had the big jiggly belly still I NEVER wanted Q to hold her in public beause I was afraid I would get questions. I mean, the hormones made me WILD!

  10. This is really good. I’m glad that you are at peace about it because, to be honest, you and I both know it probably isn’t going to get better anytime soon. And it also bothers me because people assume that children who look different from their parents are not “theirs”. But whether by birth or by adoption they are “yours”. Oh the humanity. But I love the ‘her father’ response. That is a GREAT one.

  11. What a cutie-pa-tootie. You have such a beautiful family.

  12. Hannah

    Personally, I think Gooner looks quite a lot like you. I am glad you feel at peace, because you don’t have to “justify” her to anyone.

  13. i’m glad that was your answer… it’s so true! (and i know there have been countless occasions where i get my panties in a wad bc someone is curious! how silly of me!) i have a chinese and an ethiopian niece so when we’re out with the whole fam we get some stares. : )

  14. I just can’t believe people are so RUDE! I mean, what makes that question acceptable in ANY way? People are so nosey and inconsiderate.

    I’ve been asked that twice because my hair is brown & my eyes are hazel, while my daughter’s hair is blonde and her eyes are blue…pretty much the only thing she gets from me are her toes! Anyhow, I’m still shocked that they feel the need to ask – it’s really no one’s business. Just tell me she’s cute and BE ON YOUR WAY!!! 🙂

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