Indoor soccer is special. I will dive right into the five senses of indoor soccer so that all you newbies to indoor soccer can fully experience it with me.
Taste: You need not taste ANYTHING that indoor soccer has to offer. Most folks go straight from work, to fast food, to the arena. So if you haven’t stopped and picked up something for yourself, or packed something delicious, you are eating a soggy fry off the floor complete with turf. Yum. Gooner found all sorts of yummy leftovers under the bleachers. She was delighted. I couldn’t help but gag. I decided at that moment that I wasn’t going to micromanage my daughter’s under bleacher eating habits and concentrated on the game instead.
Smell: Oh dear. When you first walk into the building you are accosted with Junior High Girl sweat mixed with full on man sweat. It is enough to take your breath away. And THEN you reach the bleachers where Mom perfume mixes with the sweat. AND THEN the players come off the field and you literally start gagging. It’s bad. I don’t know why they smell so bad. I think it is the shin guards. Gooner picked one up and gave a big SNIFF. I was totally grossed out. It was still wet from Q’s sweat and she held and sniffed away. Gag, gag, gag.
See: Indoor teams are normally segregated. It’s just how it works. You will play a group of Italians, or Mexicans or something else. In this case, the teams were all men, sweaty stinky men. I think one of the main goals, besides actually scoring goals, it is to slam members from the other team against the wall. They fight without throwing punches. It’s pretty great. Q ALWAYS comes out bleeding. And sweating. And stinking. It’s so gross. But he’s really good. He really is and I enjoy watching him play. I’m a vocal wife and almost ALWAYS annoy the refs. I don’t just show up, I fully enjoy the game. And when there is an unfair call I’m quite vocal about my distaste, as is Gooner.
Hear: Oh dear. You almost ALWAYS hear multiple languages being spoken, see above. Then bench will be swarming with Moms and wives, so you will always hear gossip. You will never hear me gossiping with them. 99% of the time I am not friends with teammates wives for this reason alone. You will hear the ball SMACK against the wall. You will hear the swish of the ball as it enters the net. Cheers and clapping from supporters when a goal is made. Bodies slamming against the wall when players try to keep/gain possession of the ball. And you will hear Gooner’s cry of delight 0when she sees her Dad walking to her off the field. (ALL my pics of Q on the field are blurry. Maybe it was the panel of plastic?
Touch: You will feel small pieces of turf under your feet as you walk on the cement. Your behind will feel cool as you sit upon the bleachers. And you will feel the sweat of your husband as he tries to wipe it all over you with a ‘post game hu’g. This is my “don’t touch me” face.