Parenting Woes

Gooner LOVES Clarissa.

Almost EVERY picture ended with Gooner blurry and Clarissa clear.

It is what it is.

I HAVE found that friendship changes once you have a little one. Conversations are interrupted with crying and plans are made AROUND naps. It is just different and I appreciate the friends that embrace my life changes. I’ve also realized that some friendships are greatly damaged due to improper parenting. I make mistakes. I’m not perfect BUT if you have children that are ill behaved, chances are I don’t want to hang out with you. I think it is ridiculous when bad behaviour is allowed because the child is “strong willed.” Um, Gooner is strong willed and has consequences to hitting, biting, disobedience… Stop making excuses and DEAL with your child. Also, when we talk on the phone I don’t want to hear your child throwing a fit, just like you don’t want to hear mine freaking out.  I feel that if this happens we can schedule an alternate phone date. I don’t want to hear you say to your child NO, NO, NO and then “YES, just go watch your show and let Mommy talk on the phone. Ok sweetheart?” We all have moments of weakness, but this is why when we hang out your daughter is hitting Gooner and won’t listen to you… bah. So folks, how should I handle this? Do I let the friendship fizzle and fade or do I fight to keep it alive and hope I don’t have to see her children often?

Categories: Friends, Gooner, Parenting | 11 Comments

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11 thoughts on “Parenting Woes

  1. Well said!
    I have two very good friends who I do not socialize with very often because of their parenting. I don’t believe that “anything goes” just so that I can eat lunch and visit with my friends, but one of them does. Maggie is very well behaved at school and (most of the time) in public, but at home she can be strong-willed and quite challenging. I try to parent consistently no matter where we are or who we are with.
    I have made the choice not to be in social situations with certain people, but I think there are ways to still be friends.
    With four children between me and on of my closest friends, it is a great challenge to have a decent phone conversation. Last night, both Maggie and Ellie were playing the harmonica. They were in another room, but my friend could still hear it. We were both just thankful that none of the children were crying!

  2. That is such a tough situation! Since I don’t have kids, I’m interested to see what others have to say! Also–I tagged you in a fun 20 questions game! 🙂

  3. If Gooner was older it might be easier to deal with. I can explain simply to Martin the car after a disaster of a play date that we don’t behave the way your friend did. I choose not to have one of Martin’s friends over because he’s mean and manipulative and he taunts Martin. We see them out and about, but not at my house! Sorry there aren’t any answers in here from me. Good luck!

  4. Ah, we struggle with this so often. I think it’s hard when they are so young, because THOSE parents are also setting an example for your child. Gooner will see the bad behavior and lack of discipline and learn from it. That’s what we’ve experienced, so we’ve had to stay away from certain friends with horribly behaved children. She learned around 18 months what was good/bad behavior and would point it out to other kids. LOL. She’d tell their parents they need a time out. Ha!

    It irritates me to no end that parents don’t ‘parent’ and just do whatever, give the kid whatever, to make them keep quiet for a short time so they can socialize. I see it every day with SAHMs. It’s like they chose to stay home as a reason to be social, not as a reason to spend quality time with their children and foster their growth.

    I could go on and on…

  5. Clarissa Trapp

    Three things: 1) Gooner should always stand in front of me in pictures. Even if she’s out of focus, she’s cute. Plus, she hides my tummy. Also, people will look at her instead of me, which is always preferable.

    2) I’m flattered I made it into your blog about poor parenting. 😉

    3) I miss you!!!!!!!!! (and the rest of your family)

  6. Hi laura,
    I always love your post and I really enjoy reading about your life. Thanks to be a very good blogger.
    Gooner is so cute!

  7. just hang out with your friend some evening without the kids. i know, it probably won’t happen often this way, but if you really like her than you can make it work. if not, then move on.

  8. I hear ya. That’s a hard one, but the thing I would worry the most about is my kid learning bad behavior from other kids, or getting hurt. It’s one thing when you can talk to your child about another kids bad behavior, but Gooner’s not really old enough yet for that. I would probably let the friendship die, but that is just me…. For myself personally I find that if I can’t talk to that friend about parenting and have a back-and-forth conversation about it, then what else is there to talk about, you know? My beliefs about parenting kind of color my entire life right now, because it is such a huge part of me, and what I do 24/7.

  9. Ooooo girl, thats a tough one. I don’t have kids but misbehaving children are a huge pet peeve of mine, especially when the parents are standing right there and just let it keep going on!

  10. Jackie

    Hi 🙂 I just finished these pages after having a non-intentional hiatus from the blog world. I loved all the posts…just couldn’t resist this one! Love all this you said…it’s so hard to listen/respond/concentrate/like the convo when a child is ill. It makes me ill. And who likes to be ill after a fun phone call to a friend!? I don’t have an answer. Some stuff I overlook with peeps and other stuff drives me crazy with annoyance after the call! Is there a clear-cut answer. Nope- at least for me! And, sometimes I’m the one saying, “just leave mommy alone and go watch tv.;)” J/K I don’t think I do this too often. I laughed aloud. Thanks!

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