First off, my heart HURTS for women experiencing infertility. Breaks my heart. I have never experienced infertility but it feels like EVERYONE around me is pregnant. I visit blogs or I open Facebook and there it is, “I’m pregnant” “we’re having a boy.” And THEN you have the well intended friends AND strangers with THE QUESTIONS. In the past three weeks I had the following conversations:
- S (who is a MAN): I really think that you and Q. need to have another baby. Not only do you guys make cute babies, BUT I think that children need siblings. Now is a GOOD time for you to get pregnant. Are you and Q trying?
- J (J is S’s wife): S is right you know, you NEED to have more children. I would also advise that you get a sex book so that you can choose the sex of your baby so that you can have a girl, because it is more fair to Gooner if she has a sister. You can then have two boys. I recommend 4 children because 3 just isn’t fair. Everybody needs a friend. Are you guys trying?
- Neighbor: Are you and Q. trying? (Neighbor decided to walk to the mailbox with Gooner and myself.)
- New Friend: Gooner is so CUTE! How old is she? 2!!!!? Are you and Q. trying?
I find this utterly ridiculous. RIDICULOUS. I think it is acceptable to ask someone if a couple wants MORE children. I do NOT think it is appropriate to ask someone if they are TRYING! That is so rude! Trying opens you up to all sorts of weird conversations and a couple’s fertility is NONE of your business. Now, CLEARLY your close friends are going to ask, but they normally ask politely and with GOOD intentions. And even THEN my friends are not asking if we are TRYING, they jokingly say things like, “La., you better call before I read it on FB.” I get it, my daughter is 2 and LOGIC would say that it is TIME, or that we should start TRYING. 98% of the people who were pregnant when I was pregnant with Gooner are either pregnant, or have already had their next kid. And that’s ok, because EVERY family is different. What do YOU think? Is it ok to ask someone if they are TRYING?