The Great Debate

I am so looking forward to our home water birth! Sometimes I just get all giggly about it, especially now that we see our midwife every two weeks. She is AMAZING for first time Mommies. – Friend on Facebook

Really? Seriously? This friend is super anti hospitals and it annoys me. We all have our opinions BUT, I feel like this “naturalist” movement gets a bit crazy. Embrace the contractions, breathe through the contractions, I mean we ALL have ways of getting through birth. Even the first time around with Gooner I was not giggly with excitement. I am CERTAINLY not giddy this time around.

Camp 1 : These women get epidurals the moment they walk into the hospital. The goal is to feel as little pain as possible. These woman pack accesories for their babies as well as themselves. Their first family photo looks like it belongs in a magazine. They don’t understand why you don’t just get the epi.

Camp 2: These women go as long as they can without pain meds HOPING for a natural birth, but realize that bad things happen and they might need an epidural, pitocen, or c-section. These women look like they have been to Hades and back. They wonder why you don’t at least try to have a med free birth.

Camp 3: These women believe that hospitals are terribly bad and are out to kill them and their babies. The ONLY way to give birth is at home, at a center/clinic, or in the water. If you don’t give birth this way you are ignorant and should obviously do it their way. These women often lecture you the benefits of a home birth without been asked for their opinion. They wonder why you would even think of having a baby in a hospital.

What do you think? Which camp were you in, are you in or hope to be in? Of course you can’t put ALL women in specific boxes. We just wouldn’t be women if we fit into stereotypes would we? I’ve had friends who are in camp 3 that don’t give me lectures BUT, it is still awkward. IE: I’m sitting on her ottoman and she tells me that she gave birth to her first leaning over that very ottoman. Gross. I don’t want to know that. On the other hand I don’t want to read facebook updates EVERY DAY, explaining why home births are THE ONLY WAY.

*I truly enjoyed reading your thoughts on the glucose test! I will def post a follow up!

Categories: Pregnancy | Tags: | 25 Comments

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25 thoughts on “The Great Debate

  1. I am babyless right now, but believe that when the time arrives to have one I will be solidly in camp #1. I am all about everyone having their own opinions, but I don’t like to have them pushed on me. Too bad not everyone gets this. That ottoman story is kinda funny. ☺

  2. I was 15 when my youngest brother was born. My opinions formulated FAST.

    Since then, I knewbeyondashadowofadoubt that I MUST have an epidural, hospital birth, bottle feeding, husband only in the room during labor, aaaand only want to see family for the first day or two. Unless God smacks me on the hand with a different agenda, those are my goals. I’ve done my own research and I’m happy with those ideas. Josh is in the same boat and understands my reasoning. To the women who are the complete opposite, more power to you. But the last time I listened to a girl like that explain her “natural” birth story…I almost fainted and had to go lay down on the couch. (no I’m not kidding or exaggerating) Go ahead, laugh at me.

    But, who knows what will happen. Only God does. πŸ˜‰

  3. *laughingatmyself* Okay, so after re-reading my comment I probably fall into category #1.

  4. Well I was def in the no drugs camp with baby #1. Um 18.5 PAINFUL hours later of having contractions every 90 seconds from minute 1. So baby #2 I was all for the epiderul! Of course I did not have a choice because my water broke before contractions even started so they had to enduce. Either way I don’t “love” crazy pain.

  5. One of our MOPS mamas is a homebirth person. She was so disappointed when she had to go to the hospital. If the midwife just would have given her 5 more minutes she would have been fine. That kind of attitude worries me. If your midwife thinks it’s time to go, GO! All I want is a healthy baby and I want people to respect other peoples decision on how they birth and raise their children. I hope people pray about what God wants for their family and realize that others are praying and just hear God speaking to them in a different way! I’m an epi person but I did wait for a little while. I’m glad it’s an option for those that want it!

  6. Clarissa

    My current goal is to be a #2. I think so, anyway. I will probably look terrible, but I don’t think I’d actually look better con or sans medical procedures. We’ll see what happens. Mostly, I just hate it when people evangelize about ANYTHING in a condescending way. Our bodies are different. Our circumstances are different. I think I’m much more excited about the kid and the rest of its life than the birth to begin with…whenever that happens. πŸ™‚

  7. Definitely in camp#2. Definitely. In theory, I can see that a home birth would be amazing. Reality though–no thanks. I want a very big safety blanket of doctors and nurses around me. πŸ™‚ I really can’t stand those people who look perfect in their “I just gave birth” pictures. I looked SO haggard after both of my kids were born! I don’t even get how it’s possible to look good after something like that.

  8. LeAnna

    I guess I’m camp #2, considering I’ve been induced twice. But, I have to say, I went as natural as possible with Sprig and it was the best experience of the two. Of course, my labor was 4 1/2 hrs start to finish, so it wasn’t like it lasted for eternity. That adds a whole different dimension. You have to do what feels right for you, regardless. I know you had a tough go with Gooner, so I’m praying Sooner is easier for you. It could be a totally different experience, and it just might surprise you.
    Read your glucose post, and I say kudos for skipping it! I should have done that w/ Sprig and will the next pregnancy (Lord willing) too. I think if you’re not prone to diabetes it’s completely unecessary and bad for you. I too hate it when you have to feel worried about voicing your decisions. Any more it’s such a game with the insurance companies, it’s a joke.
    Anywho, I got your text, thank you. πŸ™‚ Would love to talk with you, it’s been way too long, and I’m sorry for being such a slacker buddy. Will text you soon. Thanks for the love and prayers.

  9. I don’t think you really know what you want or will do until your time comes. I think it’s such a personal decision and I try really hard not to be critical of how anyone chooses to birth their baby. I had lots of people act like I had chosen to have a c-section with Maggie or like I’d taken the “easy” way out. In reality, it was the greatest disappointment of my life at the time. Given my history, I would never want to give birth outside of a hospital. Ever.
    I want to know if the facebook person is “giddy” during her waterbirth.

  10. Lori

    I had no choice with either pregnancy, both had to be c-sections. We knew early on at 14 weeks with bub that it would be a c-section and knew with Sis early too. I think it’s neat that we all get to experience the birth process differently. I like when women can tough it out and have that experience for themselves. I think I would have been in camp #2 or a not-so-mean camp #3, LOL. I think home births and stuff is neat, but I don’t think hospitals are bad or doctors are horrible or anything. Shoot, they saved me and Bub’s life! πŸ™‚

    I’m glad there’s lots of different choices for everybody.

  11. I am with you on the “please don’t yell at me to do what you do” camp. πŸ™‚ However, I do think (knowing the hospital system we are currently near – aka no good hospital for 5 hours) that I would probably do a midwife clinic or homebirth because I know, based on word of mouth experience, that it is the safer route to go in this particular place. The people who are ALWAYS talking about home births do drive me crazy though because, let’s face it, there are reasons people give birth in hospitals and judging just isn’t my scene. At all.

    And, giddy with excitement? From what I hear there is nothing to be giddy about except a beautiful baby at the end – the process isn’t giddy-worthy!

  12. Joanna

    I’m in the hospital-wait-as-long-as-you-can-for-meds camp. I got a shot of something about 20 mintues before the end, but unlike your experience, my labor was a whopping 3 hours long. God knew I wouldn’t be able to handle much more than that given the whole Russian hospital and no husband\family allowed rule! I have no idea what I looked like after since there is no photographic evidence, but I think that’s not necesserily such a bad thing!
    The birthing process is a pretty awesome wonder of nature, but a far cry from giddy. I think your facebook friend has a cold wake up call coming on labor day!
    In general it’s super bad form in my book to push your personal preferences on others, but that’s just one of the amazing things about babies and birthing… it seems to bring out the best in us (notice how many comments you got on this post!). Have you been on soon-to-be\new mom forums? You can just throw out an innocent comment on BF vs. FF, cloth diapers vs. sposies, natural vs. medicated birth and just watch the crazies go at it. It’s quite entertaining, really.

  13. Hmmm… I’ve thought about this. Since I don’t have any kiddos of my own yet I’m not a 100% sure what I would do. But I’ve waivered between camp 1 & 2. I might try for 2 if my labor is fast but if it starts going on for 12 hours… pain killers please!

  14. I’d never do a home birth (unless baby came super fast and there wasn’t time to get to the hospital). Pregnancy & delivery give a woman a LOT to think about, that’s for sure!! With P, I got the epidural after the horrendous pains of back labor really got to me. After the epidural, labor was so much more bearable (even though I really believe that it slowed things down)! With M, I was really wanting to deliver without the epidural. I also chose to go with a Midwife. She was one of 3 certified midwives that work out of a major hospital in town. Ironically, M was born an HOUR after we got to the hospital. No epi to say the least, but Wow! That was fast. πŸ˜‰ I also watched “The Business of Being Born” documentary while I was pregnant with M and did other research. The dvd is interesting and really makes you think! But no matter WHAT your “ideal” birth plan is, it can always change. My Sis-in-Law intended to have a home birth and ended up in the hospital, urgently needing intervention.

  15. We were in camp “wing it” no expectations no real “birth plan”. Looking back I was in camp 2. But going into I had no idea where I would be. I recently just spoke with a delivery nurse and told her my experience which she said wasa great 1st baby birth experience. She also gave me her thoughts on epi vs no epi and on water births. She is for epi’s if that means the parents are able to enjoy this joyous time in their lives. She is against water birth and has seen some scary stuff with water births.

  16. An interesting subject for sure! Hope things are going well with your second pregnancy!

    I guess I would fall into camp #2. My first two were drug-free (but in the hospital of course!). With labor start to finish being 7.5 hours and 6 hours respectively, my choice was made fairly easy. Or maybe I had no choice… Anyways, #3 was a whole different story – 18 hours of labor and being stuck at 6 cm for several hours. Reluctantly, I got the epidural upon my doctor’s advice, and she was born within an hour. Hmm. Easiest thing ever following the epi insertion but HATED the catheter that went along with the epidural. Given the chance (slim) of ever going through it again, I would hope to go all natural again.

  17. I’ve given birth so many times! Numbers 1 – 5 no epidural. Number 6 – complications from epidural. Number 7 – no epidural. I have to say that I’d never judge anyone, but it makes me nervous for friends who chose to have a home birth. You only have one chance to get it right.

  18. I will certainly be in camp 1, minus the magazine style photo πŸ™‚

  19. Just read this so I am a little late giving my answer.

    I am in camp 2. I believe a woman should go as long as she wants without pain meds and give it her best try. If that is a completely natural birth or an epidural right away, it is her choice. People are different and should have the right to make their own decision.

  20. Pingback: Labor in 2012 « Famille d'Arsenal

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