Labor in 2012

It is no secret that I hated child birth. Scratch that, the BIRTH was tres fabulous, the LABOR was TRAGIC. TRAGIC. I love Gooner. A lot. The whole Mom feeling took me by storm because I did NOT feel super “momish” while she was in the womb. Now I do. And I love every day we spend together. Ok, so I don’t LOVE every aspect of my day with a two year old, but I do LOVE Gooner every day. So, was childbirth worth it? YES. I KNOW that labor is worth it, but ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that doesn’t mean I have to LIKE it.

When friends on facebook announce they had their babies I don’t have the urge to say congratulations. I want to say, “YAY, you survived!” Is that terrible???? Pretty much because it doesn’t HAVE to be that way. It doesn’t. At least I don’t THINK it does, but I haven’t labored out le bebe 2012 yet…

Enter: The epidural. I have known THREE people who have had PROBLEMS after receiving it. IE: one woman and her husband will never be able to work again because while the epidural was administered in the woman’s body, her son had difficulties getting through the birth canal so “other measures” had to be used to get him out. To this day their son is disfigured. Another friend’s spine was nicked while the epidural needle entered her body so to this day she has pain repetitively shooting down her leg… Yet another friend – who perpetually experiences  intense migraines – will continue to do so until she DIES because her brain sits right on her spine because the fluid that normally separates her spine from her brain slowly drained out after the epidural was introduced to her body through her spine (which is the normal procedure but things didn’t go as planned). I also have a friend who is a labor and delivery nurse and she told me bad things happen ALL THE TIME. We hang out a few times a month and EVERY time she has a “one in a million” story to tell. Like the woman who JUST delivered her baby and then her uterus just came out after…or attempted to come out. The doctors shoved it back in, she was rushed to the ER and BECAUSE she was at the hospital they were able to save her girl parts and she is able to have more children. Phew! Mind you she had an uneventful pregnancy and there were zero red flags at delivery.

Now don’t get mad. I don’t care if you got the epidural or not. Honestly. My opinion of you doesn’t change AT ALL if you got one, or are planning to get one, or would never get one. I just don’t want to become a statistic that falls on the negative side of probability. Most of you readers sided on the side of Camp #1 on the great debate…which didn’t surprise me since I have “survived” childbirth myself.

So what do I want? I want to survive the pain!!!! And not get an epidural!!! I like to hike, run, workout, play with Gooner and hopefully Sooner! And if there is a chance that I could end up like 3 of my friends…is that worth it? So I’m 36 weeks pregnant and WAS seriously dreading birth. I’ve been through it; I KNOW it is bad. Honestly, I’m not afraid of the pain – it’s going to hurt. I just don’t want to be induced. I don’t want to be forced to DO something I don’t want to do…while in the midst of CHILDBIRTH. It’s such a vulnerable time. I thought getting a pap smear was vulnerable, ya WHATEVER!

At the beginning I saw a regular OB-GYN for my pre-natal care.  I did for Gooner. But this time around with this pregnancy, I opted to do what very few do…see a midwife instead. Cue music. Will I end up in Camp #3? More than likely. If I end up giving birth in a pool of hot water I am going to video it and put it on this blog. Just kidding. I’m sooooooooooooo not videotaping Sooner’s birth. Gag. It IS a miracle. I won’t deny that, but if my Mom had video taped her labor and delivery with me, I would vomit. And then watch it because I would “HAVE” to, I couldn’t not. And then I’d regret it. Because REALLY?

Hmmmmmm, I digress. What is your take on midwives? I’ve gotten some serious looks from friends and strangers alike when I tell them I have a midwife. Why strangers you ask? WELL, because strangers feel they have a right to know what’s going on with my body and baby for SOME STRANGE REASON. I’m REALLY liking having a midwife and if/when any of my friends get pregnant (which right now feels about everyone…) I’d advise them to see a midwife. For me it’s better. A LOT better. In fact, my fear of labor is non-existent anymore. I don’t fear it. I’m also not GIDDY or looking forward to it…but I am ready, partly in thanks the the relaxed and wonderful care of my midwife. (CHEAPER than an OB…)  Ready I tell ya!

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Categories: Poll, Pregnancy | Tags: , | 33 Comments

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33 thoughts on “Labor in 2012

  1. I hated the epidural. Mainly bc I passed out from it. But I love my ob really I do. She is super laid back and is all for laboring how I want no pressures. So I am sticking with her 😉 I have debated about using a doula this time around so I can try for a vbac but we shall see. I CANT wait to here your birth story this time around I have a feeling it will be BEAUTIFUL!

  2. I loved my obgyn, and had we still lived in new mexico I know that I would have used a midwife instead. There aren’t as many in arizona and I’m pretty sure my husband’s insurance wouldn’t cover it….which I think is super lame! I was happy with my epidural, and did get a little freaked out by all the potential things that could go wrong. However, my whole pregnancy was full of those potentials, and I had to learn early on that I could worry about it, or just trust that God would keep me safe.

    I’m just a big wimp is really what it came down too!

    I will be praying that your labor is swift and as painless as possible! Can’t wait to see pics of Sooner!!

  3. I have no clue what I will do whenever that time comes. I have a lot of research to do I guess. I’ve heard wonderful things about midwives.

  4. Josey

    I love love loved my midwife, and between her care and my hypnobabies training, I 100% can say that I didnt fear childbirth at all. I wish every woman knew that childbirth doesnt have to be full of pain and fear. So many childbirth issues and interventions are cAUSED by and/or a result of epidurals, and I sadly don’t think a lot of women know that. I’m so excited to hear about your upcoming birth experience!

    • Um no, it is definitely the job of the mom to educate herself and sadly I just didn’t know that with my first. I’m glad you had a great birth and I LOVED reading about it.

  5. I still have no idea if I will make a baby of my very own, but if I do, it’s midwife all the way. I would try to avoid an epidural at all costs… I believe that a woman’s body was made to give birth, therefore the less we interfere with it trying to do so, the better. But it’s easy to say that from the perspective of never having been in labor before. 🙂

  6. I do not want an epidural at all. I rather suffer in pain for a few hours than have something go wrong with my body for the rest of my life. I’m planning on using the hypnobirthing approach and the book is basically about taking the fear out of labor so you go in to with with a relaxed outlook. Kind of like what Josey mentioned above. I also don’t want to be induced. The baby will come when she is ready and I don’t want anyone trying to get her out before she is ready.

    We are getting so close! Just think, you’ll be full term next week! How exciting!!!

  7. I guess my mind is maid up for one reason…anything can happen, no matter what route you choose. While one option may be great for one person, it may not be the best thing for you, etc. That’s why I love the freedom of choice and learning what is best for you, your husband and baby.

    AHHHH….I got stop reading stories like this. I scare myself sillly, ha!

    • Awe, my intention was NOT to scare at all! I just feel like women have been giving birth since forever and for some reason we believe we cannot do it without the epidural. And sometimes we blindly believe people, ob’s, midwives, ALL without doing our own research.

  8. I loved my midwife with Kenzie. And if we have another, we’ll go the midwife route again. LOVE that the midwife is there for the entire birth, no just to “catch” the baby at the end. Also, I loved that my midwife was my advocate. When the nurse tried to pull something she didn’t care for, she literally shoved the nurse’s hands away. And I was none the wiser, until she told me at my follow-up appointment! My midwife knew my wishes and helped me attain the birth I hoped for. 🙂

    No epidural either, my second time and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be. The human body is a wonderful thing, and the fact that your body can produce it’s own “natural morphine” in situations of great pain?! Amazing!

    Have you watched The Business of Being Born. I bought that DVD during my last pregnancy and found it…motivating. And eye-opening. Best wishes on your delivery. I’ll be praying things go well!

  9. The Mommy

    I cannot recommend midwives strongly enough. If I had been laboring when problems were detected with Maggie, an OB would have probably been back at the office until the baby was coming and there would not have been anyone to see that something bad was happening and Maggie would have died. Period. Midwives in my OB practice stay on the floor when they have someone in labor. An OB from my practice had to perform the crash c-section, but it was my midwife that kept Maggie’s head from putting pressure on the cord and that is what saved her.
    Of course, it was the same midwife that was outside of my door the entire 15 hours of my labor (on day 2)with Ellie. She spent most of the first day reminding me that I was going to have a better experience and keeping an eye on everything to reassure me. She knew that I was adamant about having a VBAC and she was my advocate when the OB wanted to do a c-section 5 hours before Ellie finally arrived.
    I think every OB office should have a midwife on staff too. When I was pregnant with Maggie and they asked if I preferred a midwife or doctor to deliver, it was a very easy decision.

  10. after having an emergency c-section with my first, (cord was wrapped around his neck twice and he was losing oxygen, and heart rate plummeted, we almost lost him) i would never do a midwife thing. but that is my experience. i think modern medicine is bashed by some, but honestly for us, it was a gift… the gift of saving my son’s life.

    • I had complications with my first – medicines fault, that medicine then saved – I’m having Sooner in a hospital. If there are any complications you go to ER or whatever with an OB-Gyn, best of both worlds!

  11. I feel for you. Aside from the pain aspect there is so much to think about. In one of the birthing classes I took the teacher was obviously anti-epidural. She also went off on a tangent about forceps and how they can disfigure kids for life.

    With Emry (my first) she was stuck and her heart rate was dropping. They were about to prep me for a C-section when an old Doctor came in and said he was going to try……forceps!! Everything was a blur and I wasn’t as pro-active as I should have been because at that point I just wanted the baby out.

    Luckily my Dr. absolutely knew what he was doing and she came out perfectly.

    Knowing what I know about epidurals I would still get one (I am done with kids though). Going through the pain for a few hours was enough for me.

    It’s perfectly fine (and sane) to hate childbirth. I hated 99.9%of my pregnancy. I was so sick that after I gave birth I told people I had postpartum euphoria!

  12. Clarissa

    Do not, I repeat, do not have this baby before this Saturday! Ahhh! Also, I’m probably going with a midwife when the need arises. It just makes the most sense for me…but I will be doing it in a hospital. The 19th century is over, and I have no intention of me or my baby dying if it’s preventable. For sure. Also, I like you and your lovely family and can’t wait to meet Sooner.

  13. I had serious problems with the veins in my legs after my one and only epidural. (One of the unusual complications). I did natural (ie: no meds) delivery with six out of the seven children. I had a midwife with a few of the pregnancies, and honestly, during delivery, did not notice much of a difference. I delivered in a hospital all the time. However, during the routine appts – huge difference. (Maybe I had good doctors)You will do great!!

  14. Errign

    I have to say your take on things made me smile and laugh a little bit, because that’s how I feel about it. The idea of epidural gives me the heebie jeebies because of what could go wrong…

  15. You know my feelings! Love my midwife a 1000% over. You are more than capable of delivering med-free. I know it.

  16. I was SO scared of the epidural because of things going wrong. Then a friend showed me an illustration of how the needle goes no where near your spine, just the nerve endings that are like little squiggly flowing things that move in water (spinal fluid). Luckily I had no complications with the epidural…but I DID have complications from all the fluids running through me. I had to get pitocin and the labor was just unbearable for me. I didn’t want an epi but when the doc told me 4 more hours at least of that INTENSE pain, I had no rest too. Contractions were coming every 45 seconds and one lasted 5 minutes long [Michael told me later].

    You just scared the living crap out of me though.

    My next pregnant I am going to try everything I can to not get the epi and hopefully I don’t need to be induced. I hear the second time, from several friends, it’s much quicker and easier because your body went through it already!

    • Oh and I forgot to add I am glad I did everything I did…would never change anything because Ella had the cord wrapped around her neck, my docs were amazing and she came out perfect. I just could do without the fainting 5 times and tearing/not being able to walk from all the pain. All worth it though!!

    • Yup, pit is from satan. I’m am going to try to avoid it at all costs. It is VERY difficult to do pit without the epi!

  17. Love my midwife! I also love the fact we have a birthing center in a hospital. Best of both worlds for us. Some little part of me, deep down inside, would love to have a home birth. But, reality is that I’m thankful for an opportunity to have a birth in a hospital, however I want to have it. There is no pressure for intervention, and my labor nurse pretty much let me do what I wanted. The more knowledgeable Mama is, the more difference there is. I will say that my recovery with no epidural was so much more pleasant than with one. Sure, it hurt. Yes, I begged for “anything”, but in the end I’m so glad they never hooked me up to that epi drip. I felt like a totally different person with Sprig, and found the labor process to be exciting. You know, like, after it was over. 😉

    You will do GREAT! I’m glad your fears have been negated in a lot of areas. So much of laboring is a mindset. Go in there, and get’r done. 😉

  18. I guess I have to vote “c” 🙂

    In my medical school experiences with OB and delivering babies, my best experiences were with midwives. The deliveries were smoother and less frantic. I learned more from midwives.

  19. When you have that next beautiful baby that is a perfect as Gooner, it won’t matter 😉

  20. I voted OB/gyn (after seriously considering “never giving birth at all” – it TERRIFIES me!) but that doesn’t mean I’m anti-midwife. I am just pro-doctor. I think that’s because my dad delivers babies, so I know for a FACT that there are kind, experienced physicians who love babies and want to do anything possible to make sure that the birth is healthy and results in a safe, healthy mom and baby.

    The frightening fact is that bad things can happen, no matter what. However, I DO understand the desire to have a medical professional on your side who understands what you want. Who knows you don’t want an epidural and won’t push it. Who is attentive to your desire not to be induced. Who has your care and your health and the health of the baby in mind at all times – and puts those things above a paycheck, a personal schedule, and personal beliefs. I DO think that you can find that type of person in a physician, too. But I acknowledge that there are some bad seeds out there, who make us wary of physicians in general.

    Above all, I think you need to do what’s right for you. And if a midwife makes it easier and more comfortable for you to face birth, then you have made the right choice!!

    • Agreed! There are some GREAT doctors out there, you just have to find THE ONE. 😉 It does make me sad when I hear some women say that all doctors and nurses are out to “get you” and don’t care about the babies. Sad, I don’t think that is true either. And I had a not so great first experience, but this second one is going to be SO GREAT that you won’t be terrified anymore after hearing my AHMAZING experience. 😉

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