Well our neighbor didn’t give us a dog, her sister did. Phyllis’s sister to be exact – let’s call her Matilda. Why did she do this? Because she thought GOONER would want a dog. A 3 month old male puppy named “Blew” to be exact, who happens not to be potty trained. The gift was complete with a blue collar, blue leash, and blue dog bed. BUT she wanted to clarify that though everything is BLUE you spell the dogs name as B.L.E.W. Get it? Um, I didn’t. I guess you have to be over 80 to understand.
Tragically, or not so tragically, Gooner didn’t even want to touch the dog, much less take it home. Matilda and Phyllis were appalled that I would turn down such a special gift without speaking to Q first. Ha, somethings a wife just KNOWS. Even though MY answer was no…3 year old, 6 month old, AND 3 month old PUPPY, yah no, but I scurried back to my house to inform Q of the latest development in our lives.“Q, the neighbors bought us a dog.” “You are kidding right?” “Nope, his name is Blew.” “What kind of dog?” “Um, black. You know with long hair. Where it’s mouth hair always looks gross and wet because it’s always drooling.” “Nope, don’t want it.” “K, thanks.” Yah, so I went BACK outside, gathered my children and returned home sans dog. Who does this? Who buys someone a PUPPY? Without asking? That’s just weird.
My advice: Don’t do it. Instead maybe give your neighbor some Banana Bread or even a wreath if you are feeling crafty.