Parenting

Un′a·pol′o·get′i·cal·ly Me.

I’ve slowly been morphing into who I have become. Husband. Marriage. Children. Experiences. So much has happened. To make me, well, me. And yet, I’m still me.

I still say what I want to say, when I want to say it. I STILL have opinions about everything, and have no problems communicating them.

For a time motherhood swallowed me up. For six years I was pregnant, breast feeding or attempting to persuade a young mind that going to the bathroom IN the toilet was better than peeing RIGHT where you are standing.

My friendships were forced. I was friends with women in similar walks of life. It was DAYS of diapers, breast milk and what to throw together for supper. You bond over lack of sleep and an in-ablity to finish a complete load of laundry. Go out on a date? I was lucky to make it through an hour of “Revenge.”

Buuuut, the Littlest turns three

this month and Q and I are celebrating 9 years of marriage. And guess what? We made it out of the trenches. Those terrible years of people nodding in understanding, rubbing your back, telling you “YOU WILL MAKE IT,” but offering no help. Of the church asking you to serve, and with a tear rolling down your face you turn to your husband and whisper, “but I have nothing left to give.”DSCN1606

Instead I am left with time. I have more time. People said I wouldn’t. People said it would get worse. It being “parenting” of course. And in some ways it does; I have a new parenting book from the library. With Gooner turning 8, I’m in for a world of advice.

My brain also has begun working again. I have thoughts. Original thoughts. Rebuttals. I’ve started caring less about what other people think. For some reason I actually LISTENED when people judged me on parenting. I was vulnerable. I drowned my sorrows with food and reality TV.  I remember going to a Christmas party and being completely ignored by a woman only to have her tell me days later, “If I’d known you were Q’s wife I’d have introduced myself!” Nothing deflates self worth quite like a woman introducing herself on the merits of your husband. At a different party we did a “speed dating” game wheren’ a stranger introduced herself by saying, “My husband is a client of your husbands.” And let me tell you, Q. is amazing. He’s wonderful, successful and kind.

All this to say I’ve been getting the itch to write. To tell the tales of…life. Of the silly/dumb things people say. Why? Because I like to write! …even if only my Mom reads this. This blog has always been an amazing outlet. A place to chronicle my life. Get feedback. Complain. It will continue. I have never striven to be perfect. I won’t have a blog of perfection. I’m not a perfect wife, parent or friend. I hate this pressure to be perfect, and to have the perfect body that I feel at times. Most times.

Plus I take more pictures when I’m going to blog about it. I KNOW my Mom would like that. I used to take pictures like this because I ate green things and loved it. And blogging kept me accountable to working out and eating healthy. And it was my space; I miss it.IMG_6736

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Three girls.

This girl.DSCN0951

She loves fashion. And shoes. And her Dad’s boots.

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She’s not the only one… Q looks handsome in boots. He looks handsome in anything.

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And Did’s…she wanted pictures to stop and chocolate eating to commence.

 

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So Easter was fun this year. The girls are older. Grandma made matching dresses. We have a church we love. So I was excited when we sat down for service that Saturday night. It was then that the lady next to me exclaimed, “I KNOW YOU! You are the woman with ALL THOSE KIDS!”

“Really? I only have three.” – Me.

“THREE! GIRLS???? All GIRLS?” – Her.

“Yes three girls. Do I know you?” – Me.

“Yes! Our husbands play soccer together.” -Her.

Me?????

Can’t you tell we were immediate best friends? I always love when folks judge me. Especially to my face. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to laugh, or smack her in the face. I did neither. I turned my body away from her and sipped my spearmint tea. Fuming. FUMING. Frankly I love my family of 5. And our HUGE brood of 3 children. Our full quiver of children leaves me dying for a reality TV show to extrapolate on my chaotic life. Of three. In fact, I’ve had a couple of Mom’s tell me I’m Wonderwoman because I can “easily handle THREE children.” Q calls me Wonderwoman because he thinks I’m awesome.

A neighbor just told Q he should, “get snipped” during March Madness, for obvious reasons. A female neighbor said this. We were out on a family walk with our swarm of three minions -one in a stroller- causing all kinds of havoc on the sidewalk, running and skipping. I could see why Q and I should run to the nearest clinic to get our problem taken care of. Although, I was talking to a former cop once who told me that a physician gave HIMSELF a vasectomy…so there is always that option… But it will have to wait for next March. Oh wait, would Shark Week work? Let me call my neighbor. Or the lady from church. I wouldn’t want to make a personal decision personally.

Do people comment on how many kids you have? Is it just me? Do people talk to you about your birth control or when and how you should stop having children? This NEVER happened when I had 2. I’m glad we had a 3rd!

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Welcome to the circus! – Luv Wonderwoman

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Lately…

DSCN0537I am rarely in photos these days.DSCN0546 I’m always behind the lens. DSCN0619Doing my best to capture precious moments that are fleeting. My every day is filled with sticky hands and big hugs. I’m ok with that. I love it. My parents were visiting for Thanksgiving and I can’t wait to download the photos!

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The Birds and the Bees

The Birds: I used to like humming birds. Beautiful, shiny little things. Flitting about, sugar loving, iridescent birds. I currently LOVE sitting on the deck. The girls love sitting on the deck. The neighbors love hummingbirds. They feed them. The hummingbirds have become attack birds. Dive bombing. Not afraid. Death birds. Like torpedo your head, fly through your hair killer birds. It is difficult to teach your children to be fearless while I’m screaming in fear of birds IN MY HAIR. I felt ridiculous and only wanted a tennis racket. And seriously? They are like the size of large butterflies. Gag.

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The Bees: I’ve never liked bees, yet at the same time I’ve also never been afraid. The worst that can happen is a sting right? Wrong. The worst thing that can happen is having a bee, with a vendetta against your family, trapped in your van, with your children strapped in their safety belts. I even ran away from the van and though I lured it away from the girls, it flew back in when I rushed the drivers seat! I ended up leaving the girls on the curb, speeding around the parking lot and then pulling them in the drivers side door while the bee dive bombed our windows! Seriously? Gooner, while strapped into her booster, nail falling off and bleeding, was stung. At one point we were all screaming and possibly crying. The bee continued to follow us throughout the parking lot and I needed those girls safely out of my lap and in their seats. Stupid bee. And then the rain came.  I have NEVER been so excited to stand in the rain and help my girls. It was tragic. DSCN0606

The Birds and the Bees: Apparently Gooner (5) learned about the actual birds and the bees during show and tell today. One of her friends brought a vet kit for show and tell…Complete with animals…that birth their babies. Thankfully she didn’t understand it all. According to Gooner: “Mommy’s poop our their babies. Some of them have them out of a different hole… where you probably pee from.” Awesome. I’m not sure if I dodged a bullet or not. I’m not certain why the teacher didn’t stop this informational show and tell. I liked the girl that brought her stuffed animal to share better.DSCN0610

Categories: Crazy Town, Education, Gooner, Parenting | Tags: , | Leave a comment

Things Moms and Other Stupid People Say

6. African American Woman: “Did you know that by putting your daughters hair in pig tails you will stunt her hair growth? You need to just let it go wild. Just put in some gel and let her have an afro.” – Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. WELL, maybe if I put up her hair EVERY SINGLE DAY or NEVER took the pig tails  out, but I don’t. But thanks for telling me all about it.

7. One Month Post Baby “I know a woman who is 9 months pregnant and her belly is smaller than yours is right now.” Um, thanks? Why on earth would you tell a woman who JUST GAVE BIRTH – 4 WEEKS AGO – that her belly, to you, looks BIGGER than a woman 9 MONTHS pregnant? Do people not understand that I’m too small for my maternity clothing, yet my body has changed shape and it WILL TAKE TIME to change to a pre baby shape?

8. “3 girls? Oh, bummer huh. Well, at least this saves you from all things ‘penis.’ But you have girls so you don’t even know.” Thank you stranger at the park for your kind words. It would appear I shouldn’t have had a boy OR a girl.

9. Ever heard of Royal Crest Dairy? Yah, well a representative was at our door talking to Q. trying to convince us to order their clearly superior dairy products while our then 2 week old infant was with me in the kitchen. Of course baby 3, er Sissy, let out a loud wail. And then I heard this, “Oh, your wife had a baby? Did you know that drinking whole milk will actually HELP her lose the weight?” Did she just tell Q his wife needed to lose weight? The woman realized her error and began trying to dig herself out of the MASSIVE hole she’d dug herself…but it was pointless. The damage was done.

10. “Oh, you had a boy.”  DSCN0309Clearly.

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Let the Love Inside You Show!

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So, we don’t know the gender of this baby. We have our suspicions since we make girls.  If it is a girl we will be thrilled. If it is a girl we have all the clothing already. If it is a girl we already have a name and SISTERS, and a continuation of my girls. Other people ask if we will keep trying for a boy, as if THAT is why we decided to have this baby in the first place. As if you have to have both to be happy or complete or…be a real mother. GASP. Yup, I’ve had this said to me.

Stereotype based on Mommy’s I’ve met at the park, play dates, church and LIFE… If you only have boys you are a Mom of boys. If you only have girls you are a Mom waiting to have a boy. This is how I feel and I feel annoyed.

Stranger at Target yesterday. “You don’t know the gender? I hope it is a boy. If it is a girl, at least healthy!”

Old Lady. “It is probably a girl. That is probably for the best since girls are easier than boys.”

Friend. “I hope you have a boy so that you understand parenting.”

I could do a whole post devoted to ridiculous quotes by well meaning people. But, rest assured I am a good Mom to two beautiful tutu wearing,

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soccer playing…

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crying…

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hiking.

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Girls.IMG_8873

Team Pink or Team Blue this baby will fit into OUR lives. If YOU disagree on the gender God has given us, you should probably save yourself and stop talking.

So,

Dear Baby,

This family loves you so much and can’t wait to meet you.

Love,

Mommy, Daddy and Your Big Sisters!

 

Categories: Family, Parenting, Pregnancy | Tags: , , , , | 5 Comments

April Snow Storm

So much can be said about this picture…

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Sometimes it just stinks to be the little one.

I don’t mind the snow even though it IS Spring!

Sooner was CLEARLY blessed with awesome hair.

I’m pretty sure Gooner was taunting Sooner and NOT saying a mere “hello.”

I’m 100% ok with all the little fingerprints because one day they will be gone.

 

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All Sorts of Wonderful

This morning I found dishwasher detergent as well as my mascara under the table.  And don’t forget the dry noodles, a plastic egg, a blanket and a dry wipey. Gooner is ALL about royalty right now. She gives royal proclamations daily, hourly, all the time. Her castle is the the kitchen table, and she lives underneath it. Yesterday my glass was on the tablecloth; suddenly, Gooner’s castle wall came crashing down flinging water EVERYWHERE. I didn’t have the heart to get angry, pretending to be a Princess is MUCH better than terrorizing her sister who is still not crawling.

About that…. she isn’t yet. Crawling that is. She wants to, badly. Yesterday she wanted to be in her sister’s castle so badly that she actually army crawled her way there. I was so proud and then I immediately scoured the house for Barbie shoes and marbles. Oh and Polly Pocket…who invented this stuff? I rip Polly Pocket’s head off and yank rubber clothing off regularly and when I can’t take it anymore I leave Polly in her swimsuit and give Gooner a bowl of water. Awesome. Thankfully Polly’s toxic hair must taste nasty because Sooner only had to try it once to realize this choking hazard wasn’t worth it.

Our English neighbors invited us to tea after lunch. I thought this meant anywhere from 1 -3. Right? Wrong. Q explained to me, from the shower, that we were invited to High Tea. Or tea at five o’clock. WITH our children.  It was a riot. We were introduced to all sorts of yummy, and not so yummy, sweets and biscuits. And of course NEITHER of our girls like sugar, which is a complete mystery to most folks and was to them as well. Thankfully they weren’t offended when we told them that Gooner would not drink tea with milk or sugar in it, or eat a biscuit. Sadly, the hostess told me to tell her what I liked and didn’t like and I took her at her word. I think I hurt her feelings when I told her I didn’t like a sweet and spicy puff pastry thing.  Not only did it taste bad BUT it felt grainy and gross in my mouth. Gooner ate Strawberries and Q swished his tea pretending to drink it – and failing. After offering to reheat the tea, add more milk, add more spice, add more sugar, add more of ANYTHING to get him to drink it…they gave up. Wise move neighbor. Q doesn’t drink tea or coffee.

Categories: Crazy Town, Family, Friends, Parenting | Tags: , , | 8 Comments

Things Mom Say #1-5

“Your daughter isn’t crawling because you hold her too much.” – Um, have we met before? Have you ever seen me rear, parent, mother, encourage, discipline my children? What is your name again? Oh, we’ve never met?

“Your baby is 11 months? You should probably say she is 9 months since she is so little.” – Once again, thank you stranger. I will happily lie about my child’s age henceforth. Maybe it is because I stopped breast feeding her at 10 months. 😉

“Would it be weird if I grabbed your baby and tickled her feet?” -Yes. When you use the word grab and then commence to talk about my children, YES, it is weird. Perhaps next time say, she has cute feet.

“Hi, nice to meet you. I’m assuming their Dad is black?” – Um, yes…. Is your Dad white? I mean…with the white skin and all…

“Sometimes you just need a teddy bear huh?” – This one was actually funny since I WAS in fact clutching Gooner’s teddybear in my arms…while out and about. I’d forgotten that Gooner had handed him to me…

*THINK before you speak.*

Categories: Crazy Town, Parenting | Tags: , , , | 6 Comments

And just like that…

we are done breast feeding.

It is something I have both dreaded and longed for.

But she decided she was done. At 9.5 months…done!

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